Thursday, March 11, 2010

I want to be “LYNSEY” again!

I don’t think I can do this! By this, I mean my JOB! They are all being really supportive and understanding but for some reason, that place brings me fear. I think about it and I am overcome with panic. I am terrified absolutely terrified! They are giving me a chance and I really appreciate it but,  I can't shake this overwhelming feeling of terror and nothingness.
I go back and forth like I want to be there and do my best but then my attitude totally changes to not giving a damn. I want to feel “NORMAL” again.

I feel bad for putting my family and friends through my crazy behavior. I don’t know why I do the things I do. I really feel like I am someone else and I am just watching myself acting and feeling this way. 
My husband is so wonderful and he tries to be understanding but it’s hard when I don’t even know why I do or say what I do!


How long is this going to take for me to feel better?

I’m getting impatient I want to be fixed NOW!

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