I feel like I am trapped in a reality that is not my own!

I feel like this is not how my life is supposed to be!  I am overcome with thoughts ... random thoughts ... thoughts that consume me .... thoughts that confuse me .... thoughts that convince me that this life I am living is not real! And then Snap I wake up and realize that this is my life and this life I am living is what it is! I often think if I could go back in time .. I would do this or I would do that but we are not given that option. I know I can still make a change in my life for the better but I am terrified that I will be making the wrong decision. 

I am scared to make a decision because what if I make the wrong one then how much more will we have to suffer.  I am at a standstill while the world keeps spinning faster and faster!

Living with the Fockers!!!!

So, this is how our living arrangements have been going! I sleep on a full size bed with my husband who likes to sleep all up on me! Did I mention the air conditioner isn't working so, it is hotter than hell in this place! We got Brody sleeping a few feet away so, there is a lot of hot air in that room! It's driving me crazy! Not to mention my favorite focker is acting crazy the whole time she is there! She is bitching and yelling at me all the time! O, and Brody decided that he doesn't have to go to sleep until um...... midnight! I am so ready to move from the fockers to my house! I love you! Mom, Dad and Mimi!!

I hate them with all the hate you can hate with. Can you hate more than that? If you can, I hate them more than that.

Don't you just hate when people talk about you behind your back. Don't you hate when stupid bitches tell you one thing and then its another! It really gets old when people are nice to your face and then talk shit just as soon as you turn around. It tears you down! I am just tired of all of it!

I hate the way you look at me!

I am slowly falling apart! I want to paint my face and pretend that I am someone else.  Sometimes I get so fed up I don't even want to look at myself.  I know people have problems that are worse than mine.  I don't want you to think I am complaining all the time.  I wish I could start over again and I wish that everyone would go and shut their mouths because I am not strong enough to deal with it. Why don't you take a walk in my shoes! You may think that it's easy being me but it's NOT!

I wanna go home!

Well, O, Well ......... WE ARE LIVING WITH MY PARENTS!!!!!!!!  It's only been 3 days but I want my own bed, my own bathroom, my own kitchen, I want to walk around in my panties without having to worry about my dad!  I don't want to have to share the computer with my mom! I wanna go home! O,  it's not so bad we have live in maids that do our laundry, make the bed and cook us dinner! I love my momma, Mimi and dad  more than you will ever know but we aren't supposed to live together anymore!!!!!