I've been trying to figure out for most of the day why I have been having anxiety and decided that it was because of a date that was fast approaching. So this evening I began to really wonder why does this one feel different than the last couple and well I came to the conclusion it's because this is the 1st official time "our anniversary date" has passed since our divorce was final.
I count that we were married 8 years even though he left almost 4 months before our 8th anniversary but he was having sex with up until a month before so, emotionally we were still together for me to count and so I do! Last year we ironically both signed divorce papers on what would have been our 9th anniversary and that was fucked up in itself and just down right hard to do but here it is almost what would have been our 10 year anniversary and it's kicking my ass. I mean he's married and about to have another baby but it doesn't mean I heal just because he's moving on. So, dealing with 1st anniversary after divorce is final and the next week will be 1 year since the divorce was final. This used to be my favorite time of year! :(