Today we sat in the same room and I bet we didn’t say 50 words to each other all day! I don’t know what needs to be done at this point. I suggested counseling and he turned it down. Obviously we have some issues and well I know that we can’t work through them on our own. I am a fan of counseling but he says he doesn’t have to talk to anybody. Well, something has to be done because I cannot continue to be unhappy! I am not blaming all of my unhappiness on him because I know that the majority of it is me but, I feel if I have him back in my corner loving, caring and helping me I could overcome the rest of my issues. As of right now I feel so alone even when I am in a room of lots of people my heart aches constantly and I my mind drifts off and begins to think of crazy things.
I need to get better for my son. He needs a mother who is not sad and it isn’t fair to him and that makes me sad! I can’t do this alone. I can’t! I am alone with how I feel and I have no one to talk to because everyone has an opinion or should I say they can’t be impartial.
Obviously my medication is not working because I am not feeling better in fact I think I am worse than before. So, the plan is to see my doctor and get off of the meds and find someone to talk to.
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