Decisions... Decisions!

Well, I was offered a job today that seemed to be great! The money that could be made was something that I never would dream that I would be able to make but, it was one of those jobs that becomes your life! They wanted me to work 6 per week including nights! I thought about it, prayed about it and talked about it and ultimately came up with the decision to decline the job offer! I  hope this is not one of those decisions that I look back on in a couple of months or a couple of years and think that I should of taken it!

I love my Husband

I love my husband more than you will ever know! He is a wonderful man, father, friend, son & uncle!  Everyone that knows him would not disagree that he is an awesome person! I get a lot of crap because people don't think that I realize how lucky I am but, I do! I know that NO ONE could love me more and unconditionally then the way my husband does. Here lately I have been feeling a disconnect between us and it could be a number of reasons. I want to go back to when we made each other feel special and loved just because. We get so wrapped up in the day to day things and the arguing of petty things that it interferes with showing each other how much we mean to each other.  My mother in law just said the other day that "Michael used to open the door for me every time we got into the car but she noticed that he doesn't do that it anymore."  I wonder why did he stop! I said it took to long and I didn't want to wait but in reality I don't think that is it at all! To tell you the truth it just ended! Don't get me wrong that isn't a major deal but just an example of how life can get the best of your relationship and take away the special things!

Friends

Everyone has friends but do they really!! These friends in your life all serve a different purpose some are your true friends and some are just well not really your friends so, why do we even call them friends? Why do we continue to keep them in your lives? Why do we continue to listen to the bullshit and the lies? Why? I am not really sure because it aggravates me beyond belief! I want people around me that love me unconditionally and call me on my shit and can handle it when I call them on theirs because that's what real friends do!

Please and Thank You!

    It's been along time but tonight or should I say early this morning thoughts are running through my head!  You see I got into a fight with my sister again! I say again because I feel like we are always fighting about the same thing. The fight may be about something different but it is all about the same thing! They are always about how she does not appreciate me!!!! After I typed those words I had to stop because it hurts so bad to not be appreciated and its not that I don't deserve it because I do I really really do! I just don't understand why she will not ever say thank you to me, ever! It hurts me more than you will ever know! To continue to do things for someone who you believe really does appreciate but just won't acknowledge it and I am not sure if I can do it anymore! I consider myself to be a great sister! I can be mean at times but my sisters can too! I would be so grateful if my sisters did half the things that I did for them and all I am asking for is a freaking thank you every now and then!

I feel like I am trapped in a reality that is not my own!

I feel like this is not how my life is supposed to be!  I am overcome with thoughts ... random thoughts ... thoughts that consume me .... thoughts that confuse me .... thoughts that convince me that this life I am living is not real! And then Snap I wake up and realize that this is my life and this life I am living is what it is! I often think if I could go back in time .. I would do this or I would do that but we are not given that option. I know I can still make a change in my life for the better but I am terrified that I will be making the wrong decision. 

I am scared to make a decision because what if I make the wrong one then how much more will we have to suffer.  I am at a standstill while the world keeps spinning faster and faster!

Living with the Fockers!!!!

So, this is how our living arrangements have been going! I sleep on a full size bed with my husband who likes to sleep all up on me! Did I mention the air conditioner isn't working so, it is hotter than hell in this place! We got Brody sleeping a few feet away so, there is a lot of hot air in that room! It's driving me crazy! Not to mention my favorite focker is acting crazy the whole time she is there! She is bitching and yelling at me all the time! O, and Brody decided that he doesn't have to go to sleep until um...... midnight! I am so ready to move from the fockers to my house! I love you! Mom, Dad and Mimi!!

I hate them with all the hate you can hate with. Can you hate more than that? If you can, I hate them more than that.

Don't you just hate when people talk about you behind your back. Don't you hate when stupid bitches tell you one thing and then its another! It really gets old when people are nice to your face and then talk shit just as soon as you turn around. It tears you down! I am just tired of all of it!